Friday, 24 June 2011

23. Gone onhive

The metaphor has shifted. The hive mind will be responsible for future Elaboration. Thank you.

Friday, 5 March 2010

22. For Yuri

Tonight, a sea of alien fish approaches; on the beach I let the tide draw near. A lunar surface, here. An orbit without fear. A never-ending fall, ridden these last four billion years.

I'm given to gazing into that fathomless phantom well of Gagarin dreams; perspective as sustenance. A glance down unearths our whiteheat beginnings, mirrored deep beneath; inside great burning balls of light are new futures made, new thoughts and hopes. Our sky and our tectonics define us, our origin and destiny. It's hard to breathe up here.

There's no such thing as going home again. Not now.

Monday, 25 January 2010

21. Lunge

Quiet, isn't it?

A stickward-bound body; a frantically peaceful return to the darkest of black nightspace; time to gather energies for the light-polluted lunge of the future, like winding a spring.

There's too much history here.

Growth. Change. Other pleasant-sounding abstract notions.


Tuesday, 13 October 2009


are4 we fucking nailam? How cxab wea gat out of this epescies? Where ias the niode4 home ?

Sunday, 11 October 2009

19. Fortissimo

Another darkened, strobe-lit, smoke-filled night ends after profound sweaty stuttering swaying stomping revelry finally collapses in upon itself and I am forcibly spat out into the nonchalant, unblinking streets of the old, new, everlasting Great Beast London. Dirt and noise cling to me filthily and I welcome them as I would old friends. (“Pull up an armpit!”)
My body is barely clothed in sweaty discoloured rags, my ears are humming with ten thousand watts of half-heard and half-imagined rhythms which reverberate until dawn comes and resonate until the end of time as a great grinding comforting cacophony.
There’s no such thing as going home again. Not now. I know now that I am here to wander, to dérive, to map out London and all of its stupendous stupefying magickal aura upon the thoughtscreens of the webworked wired world in full force, giggling all the way.

“Fortissimo at last!” will be my battle cry.

And I don’t have to stop if I don’t want to. Really. A new, old, unknown London is made real around me at every step and stagger, its boundaries dissolving into mine. The reanimated zombie London of the past and the as-yet-unrealised technopolis London of the future watch our every move with hidden eyes; unflinching, unconcerned. The streets have seen this before. The streets will see this again.
Roman plaster walls give way seamlessly onto steel and concrete foundations. Sections of the city (some larger than towerblocks, others smaller than photons) flicker between timezones; now marshes, now tamed fields, now houses, shops, alleys, car parks, subways, skyscrapers, tube trains, engines, beats, hearts, dust…
The streets are paved over in mud, in gold, in tarmac and then in mud again in a dizzying diurnal dance. Sun, moon, sun, moon, sun, moon…
On Oxford Street I blunder past a shade of De Quincey, who nods in my direction and mumbles under his breath about terræ incognitæ before disappearing northwest, guided by the pole star, through a glass shopfront into his own ‘sphynx’s riddles of streets without thoroughfares’. The pleasures of losing oneself will never diminish, no matter what the age…

Have you explored this town's alleyways in the alivedead dark before dawn? Pay special attention to your pathway's acoustics; to the rectilinear playgrounds left deserted by scaffolders; to the humming elephant-machines kept (unprotesting but melancholy) in pens to serve man's needs; to the tiny scribbled nonsensical ravings of lonely men and women found between the cracks of the tiles in a freshly painted underpass under an abandoned roundabout which lends silently sliding inertia to the nearby buildings. These things might be important; a white noise of data with which to predict the future and discern the past. On my own journey, I’m letting the dial freewheel – this is the static between stations you can hear, ghostly pale but always on the edge of resolving into meaningful wholes. Station to station, station to station. This is London calling. Repeat: this is London calling.

The city’s waking up but still I’m alone, barely registering the brief transience which makes up the presence of others; their flickering, temporary lights and forces have only a short lease on my senses; it is of the ages, this place with these streets, this great dark holy other, mother of civilisations, this king and queen of conurbations.

Almost blindly I find my way to Green Park to dance among lepers in their graves, among the long-dead still-living gentry who shoot each other for fun and for honour and for profit. I’m just in time to catch the fireworks as they rain green and gold in the late night early morning spring-autumn sky. And then, for one tiny moment, I catch a glimpse of the beautiful woman I spent last night dancing with in that little black underground room as we became soaked with two dozen different people’s sweat together. Was it really that long ago, my dear? How could all of this have passed between us? I remember when we were young…
My sensorium drifts slowly back to what I will call, for ease of reference, the present day. Up above, through the clouds, future neural whiteheat information networks are still blinking in and out of thought. I could ignore them if I decided I wanted to. Really, I could. The roar of today’s metropolis begins to engulf me again as I relieve myself on some monument or other (all queens look the same at the nape of the neck, don’t they?) and swagger, multiply enlightened, along the Mall.

“Did you miss me while I was gone?”, I ask the aetherwaves, not expecting any kind of reply.

I am bleeding from my right foot. My hair is perpendicular to my head. My short breaths are punctuated by wheezes. Maybe. My. Imagination. Is. Wearing. Off.
Bedraggled, bloody and gasping, I find myself in Trafalgar Square. I collapse on the floor. Before I pass out I can just make out a woman on one of the plinths, broadcasting someone else’s journey through this endless city.

“Fortissimo at last!”

12 Oct 2009, 9-10am

Friday, 14 August 2009

18. A Game


After this many years in the wilderness, I've had to define my own sexuality. It hasn't been easy. It hasn't been fun. I heard an echo once that I've lusted after ever since. Perhaps if I stand in the right place at the right time I might hear its reverberations, or more; I might be at the point of its resolution, where all is obvious.

No. Too much to ask. Don't expect her/him/it to fall into your lap.


Monday, 3 August 2009

17. Hope My Hope

Hope my hope is there in time, in time to change me change me.
Movement moved what movement could; it could be something more something.
Projects project on screened screens.
Does this just mean what the mean means?

Hope my hope is there in time, in time to change me change me.
Love my love (O, that my Other would!); it would make something more something.
This dreamer dreams what the meme means,
Unseen, unseen, scene after scene.

Tuesday, 14 July 2009

16. Hmmm


Imagine if every DJ was an action-film fan:


There is more than one emotion to mixing, I think.
Or should I just pay no attention?

'Wake from your sleep.'

If you played this, I might beat you up.

Simon says, 'The drying of your sneers.'


I'm wanking myself to sleep tonight.

I'm thinking of you dancing.

Saturday, 6 June 2009

15. Our Waxing Promise

Gods, I need you!
Does our waxing promise wane?
Buried in shit is the spit-
mark of a verdant growth;
not just for me but for my Other.

Let green disguise throw up ulterior moves
while circuitous circusing festivities loom;
fire and smoke are half the joke,
what gets drummed gets drummed gets our use.

Wednesday, 3 June 2009

14. Sits For A Bit

Newnest descended, shiny new hope of alivedead explores. Geometry foreground more prominent. Rhythm inherent - white diesel noise lulls in the dark.

Peace around abounds. Sits for a bit. Does the washing. Houselifewife better no where she's going...

To movement!

Monday, 18 May 2009

13. To Whom It May Concern


Last night a 'friend' of mine tried to strangle me. My throat still hurts. After having been away for three days I came back and that evening (no real suprise) there was a party at what I used to call my home.

At about six in the morning I was playing some loud music. Six in the morning is not an unusual time to hear music in my former home. He came in and told me "I wasn't allowed" to play music at this time. His urge to control can be really terrifying. I said that I paid as much rent as anyone and he just kept repeating that I "wasn't allowed".

He then grabbed me around the shoulder and around the neck. I didn't fight back. It's not my way. He said to me, whilst attempting to push my windpipe in, that I was a cunt. He kept repeating that I didn't have any friends and that no-one would believe me if I told them about this. He was squeezing my throat harder and harder as if I was play-dough that wouldn't fit into his mould. I sat down (he still grabbing my throat) in front of the door on the inside of my then-bedroom saying, "Is this what you want to do to a friend?" He just squeezed harder saying no-one would believe me. I am genuinely scared about the brainwashed state of his group of friends.

Shortly after sitting in front of the door someone who had heard the noise came to the outside of it. Immediately and whilst still holding my throat tightly, he said "[j0hv] won't let me out." I am truly worried about the state of mind that could allow someone to do that. I could hardly breathe at this point.

He just repeated that no-one would belive me. Do you?

I bought a bolt and a padlock, fitted them to my door, put all my things inside, locked it and left.

Wednesday, 13 May 2009


Superfluous shades of stygian sex
(flagrant, flaunted, foolish and furious)
describe dementia decanted and dosed.

Giggling gurus guide with guile
(juggling jugs with jellies and jests)
avid attendant auxiliary angsts.

Looseness leads listlessly leeward
(Kids! Kiss and kink, KK?);
here's hoping healing helps howling homeward.

Friday, 17 April 2009

11. Lot Forty-Nine

"Who will buy? Who will love?

"Found alone, this masturbating wretch with handmade armour of shells and wood, of plastic, satin and lycra. A unique specimen, untouched by bargepoles, curled up in rock this last millennium.

"Entertainment guaranteed! A wonderful pet or ornament! A great talking-point at parties! Equally suited to ladies or gentlemen!

"May I start the bidding at one heart?"

Friday, 20 March 2009

10. Old Motives

As a turn of narrative, it drifted overhead like the worried summertime cloudships of a misspent rural youth in ghettos of bracken and brambles. The resonances are felt to this day; aren't all our summers now shaded by those oldneweverlasting redwood dreams?

Let those thingers feel out the hidden recesses and holy places we spoke of in whisper that once. The heavy solar energy runs latent and energising over us. Can I bear the awesome lightness of your lashes refracted into rainbows by the sun? And there's the warm space between your cheek and mine, where new ventures and old motives are played out in delicious slow-motion heat-haze replay for kicks; a great long-lost protagonist-antagonist nerve ending symphony of touch.


Thursday, 5 March 2009

9. Isn't She Pretty?

What resistance may the greying officers offer? To catch me, you'll have to see me first - I'm that blur that just passed you in the street in third-hand rags of impossible colour. I'm CCTV-see-through and I can't be pinned down at all. An untriangulable FM broadcaster. A surveilled-transparent blind-spot lingerer.

Have you explored this town's alleyways in the alivedead dark before dawn? Pay special attention to your pathway's acoustics, to the rectilinear playgrounds left deserted by scaffolders, to the humming elephant-machines kept (unprotesting but melancholic) in pens to serve man's needs, to the tiny scribbled nonsensical ravings of lonely men and women found between the cracks of the tiles in a freshly painted subway under an abandoned roundabout which lends silently sliding inertia to the nearby architecture. These things might be important.

A dance in the park before home as the world wakes up.

As I undress myself for bed, I feel like a music-box ballerina at the end of her twirl. There's sprites at play in everything, you know, if you look the right way.

Monday, 16 February 2009

8. Drift

The emotional-historical resonances of this sprawling conurbation create spacetimes unsensed but as real as memory. Cut-ups and fold-ins on architectural scales transport me to forgotten fields (the skeletons of as-yet-unbuilt, long-since-abandoned warehouses hang ghostly and pale) whilst towerblocks abyssed by pirates topple and crash down about my ears (experienced verdancy undertakes experiments veering toward verticality). The dizzying diurnal discs of the sun and moon rise and set, rise and set.

Saturday, 10 January 2009

7. Checkoneto

Priestechs, priestechs, how have dey intafaded to blacknest, estars unithought woods o' evershine?

Atlas, countriesons unmapped lie between us, ourparentheticselves.

Thursday, 8 January 2009

6. Odometer

My creations already created, as if broadcasting on FM in my sleeping hours through choice and not by haphazard dreamed accident.

Finding myself in an industrial estate on the edge of town, beauty revealed where beauty (it might be thought) would fear to tread. The psychogeography of space remodelled on the fantasies of children. The everlasting beat, tuned into momentarily by percussive heartbeats, vocal chords, and the mechanical detritus of modernity. A willed favela. Battery-powered shopping trolley soundsystems. The dawn of a new age at an arbitrarily defined non-moment keeps the odometer ticking over.

In that non-existent time there was hope. I saw it flash before my eyes, on and off at alpha-wave frequency, inducing hallucinations of fulfillment and prosperity.

I don't want your money; I want my soul.

Friday, 21 November 2008

5. Swamp

He was naked in the swamp. Filthy and writhing, moonlit and camouflaged. I found him by following the screams - of agony? of ecstacy?

His hair was dark and dank like thick strands of algae. I was taken over by an irresistable urge to kiss him. He bit me, very hard, a little under my right ear. It felt like leeches, or as if I had decayed very quickly under layers of mulch and brackish slime. It was painful and exquisite.

I have often wondered about localised...well, spirits doesn't seem quite the right word...more elemental aspects of places. My friend had become the swamp, the stream, the leaves and roots and bark of this place.

I backed away, to watch and to learn. He was trying to climb the river bank. He stopped to grip and furiously rub a root that was extruding from the bank. I know masturbation when I see it.

I left for a while. I wandered, in deep reflection. I was struck by the crystalline perfection of the trees in the surrounding area. I was drawn back by the same ambiguous screaming.

He had dirt in every orifice. As I knelt a short distance from his head I could hear that he was ranting, almost chanting, near-incoherently under his breath. As I leant nearer, his vocalisations resolved into intelligible words - "the toothless, nameless desire under the feet of everyone". It seemed like the litany of the non-human world; the aspirations and thwarted desires of the swamp itself; its transmuted feelings of repression and neglect.

Tuesday, 4 November 2008

4. Creation

He doesn't know the meaning of The Word.

The Learned are in great Perplexity.

Thursday, 30 October 2008

3. No Comment

I've appeared in elaborate costume, in sly disguise, in heavenly nomenclature, in true metaphorical getup (GET UP), within and without these Instruments with which those with the power of Governance misunderstand exactly the arcane recordings and manufacture a news disguise to clumsily force order from chaos. [To play these holy records, carry a carved stick (as stylus) and create a turntable of your own imagining, to be designed and fabricated by spinning around on the spot, with giddiness and inspiration fused.] I wonder if even my intensive training could prepare me for this this this most distasteful control thought feeling?

It was all I could do to work an elaborate "No comment".

//with thanks to WSB

Monday, 27 October 2008

2. Connection

A connection opens; I find myself governed by symbols, governed by the moon as thy harbinger tonight, o universe, o one that is what is. And when we make eye contact, two whirling galaxies meet, you into eye and I into you; we swap roles and shift smoothly into (non)communication in shimmering languages without alphabets, they and us each moment made and remade.

As hieroglyphs we met once (and will again), as runes and as brushstrokes, as algebra and by chemical reaction we spell out the unspoken name of thought.

The great coincidence of matter; in rocks and plants you reflect me, revealing the everlasting dance of energy that joins us forever together.

Over rooftops I seek you and down blind alleys you elude me, disappearing without effort... Onwards, then; into car parks and forests, atop scaffolding and trees, from mountain top to underpass and from future to past, we creep stealthily only to scream with abandon, we discover and rediscover our love for each other.

I go joyously anywhere with you, o one, toward the realisation of union.

Thursday, 23 October 2008

1. A New Thing

So cook me up a new thing. Make me dance. Make me smile.

A black cat crosses the courtyard. two paces behind and to the left is his pale white double; a ghostly mimicry takes place and I am left on the outside, inhabiting a very human world... I am unable to follow; like a slapdash intuition of the whispered words between a couple (seen and never heard) on the other side of the room, I know that I can never inhabit their world.

'Why should I be denied access at the door?' 'Who controls the guest list?'